Day 11. A mermaid’s love

So this is day 11 of the writing challenge and this was right in my wheelhouse.

Day 11. Write a love story from end to beginning.

So if you might know, I greatly enjoy writing about love. I mean, my first book even has “love” in the title. But for this challenge, I thought I would do something different. After all, you can just browse my blog and find a love story in every corner.

Today, I am doing a twist on a classic story. It is a different style from usual and it is just my take on an age old myth. Don’t shoot me if this doesn’t go how you expected it to go. And yes, it is based on a very popular Disney story as well.

I actually got inspired by listening to a song, so if you feel like it, you can listen to it during your read. Or not. You can choose 🙂 So here we go!

( Credits: BrunuhVille, Pirate Love Song - Black heart )

A mermaid’s love. (An Origin Story)

Long ago, before history was history and myths became myths, there once lived a young woman by the name of Alana. She was a woman of exceptional beauty. With long hair that was as fine as copper spun into silk and eyes so bright it even made the stars jealous. Everything and everyone she touched would become enchanted under her delicate touch and all envied how she would graciously wrap her tail around herself.

Yes, you heard me right. A tail. Because Alana was a daughter of the Sea, born with a blessing and a gift that granted her complete freedom in all the waters.

And yet, Alana longed for more. She longed for the man that stood on the planks of his ship that fearlessly crossed the ocean like he owned her.

This is her story.

“ Mother, oh Mother. There he is again, my lover, my light. That brave man that steers his ship over our waters, unafraid through day and night.’ Alana sang as she longingly gazed at the ship of captain Adrian passing by her favourite cliff.

For over a year, Alana had been surfacing to watch the ship of Prince Adrian sail by, hoping she could catch another glimpse at her lover like she had the first time.

When she met him, he had been young and joyful. His first responsibilities hadn’t weighed on him yet and he regarded his travels over the sea as fun trips. And even after his ship capsized and she saved his life, he still hadn’t lost the glimmer in his eyes as soon as he could smell the salty sea.

And the more Alana wished to be with him, the more she despised her tail. And so she looked up to the sky and begged to anyone that could hear her to grant her the power to walk among men.

And her wishes were carried by the Wind to new and mysterious lands where they were finally heard. The witch of the Wind fulfilled her wishes and granted the child of the Sea what she so desired. As Alana shed her tail, she was given a beautiful pair of legs and in a gust of wind, she found herself on the ship, staring in the eyes of the Prince she so longed for.

Although confused to her sudden appearance, the men were baffled and surprised, but none of them could resist her charm and they welcomed her in their midst.

And Alana got her wish. Her Prince. They fared over the sea, hand in hand as they watched the sunset from the boat.

But not all loved Alana like she was one of their own. There was one man, Jared, that had grown so jealous, so envious, it had overtaken and darkened his heart. And word by word, he poisoned the thoughts of the men around him. Until, at last, the Prince’s heart was corrupted by the vile words.

And so, without knowing where this incredible beauty came from, they desired her death.

Even with tears on her beautiful cheeks and trembling lips, they threw her merciless overboard, condemning her to a slow and painful death.

And so Alana sank into her Mother, returning home at last. And as she descended to the ocean floor, she told her Mother all about her adventures as a human.

‘ Mother, oh Mother. Look at me now. Who would have thought that my end would come at your hands. Look at how my pathetic life is slipping through my fingers.” Alana sang as she sunk deeper towards the ocean floor, the water engulfing her in a cold embrace.

‘ Mother, oh Mother. It seems I am returning home and I have so much to tell.’

‘ Mother, oh Mother. Those humans, they are so deceiving, so evil. They are cunning and sly. They plunder and steal, murder and desire. They loathe and envy, they boast and they brag. But Mother, oh Mother. I loved them so much.’

‘ Mother, oh Mother. Among all those bad things, I could sense something underneath. The young and strong beating heart of my Prince. He looked at me so tenderly and so full of love. And for a moment there, I actually believed in him. But Mother, oh Mother, they corrupted his heart.’

‘ Mother, oh Mother. Look at me now. At my lifeless body sinking deeper into you, the place I left. I am so filled with sorrow and sadness and regret. I am saddened that I left you, that I longed for more. I feel sorrow for all the time that I had to miss you. And I feel regret, but not about leaving you, no I don’t. I regret not being able to spend more time with them.’

‘ Mother, oh Mother. Let me sink into you and finally become one with all my sisters again. Mother, oh Mother, I beg of you. Let me return home to you.’

As she sank, deeper and deeper into the cold ocean, all the warmth and love for the humans leaving her. Slowly she reached the bottom of the sea where despair overtook her nimble heart.

‘ Mother, oh Mother. How could I have been so mistaken? How could I have lost myself to him. How did I get deceived by such a false promise of love?’

As she felt her life slip away and her memories and emotions filled the sea, her Mother finally understood. And as she experienced the last moments of despair of her once beloved daughter, she rose up to avenge her child.

She would not allow these men to rob her daughter of her life, her child, her love. And with fury and revenge, her waves crashed against the side of the boat, rocking it to its core.

She crashed horrid waves against their ship and wished merciless storms onto them. And as she sank their ship, from the depths of the ocean, Alana watched her Prince, whom she once saved from her Mother, drown.

And so Alana closed her eyes, ready to accept her departure. Ready to merge with her Mother again.

But as the cold, salty water filled her lungs and she drew her last breath, death never came.

Her mother, even though she was furious about Alana’s betrayal, couldn’t take the life of her own child. So with one powerful wave, she lifted up her child up to the surface and into the air, expelling her from her body. Giving her life once more, but punishing her for eternity.

And to ensure her daughter could never return her mother gave her wings, a parting gift. She gave her daughter one more single breath, binding Alana to her so she could never stray away from the oceans, but also never return.

Stuck between heaven and hell, Alana sang.

“ Mother, oh Mother. It is so lonely up here. I can see everything and the wind carries me on its tail, but I have nowhere to go and no one to love. The sky is empty and I long to be back with you. Mother, oh Mother, please let me return to your kingdom.”

“ Mother, oh Mother. What am I to do to earn your forgiveness? Will I ever be able to come back home again? Haven’t I suffered enough?”

“ Mother, oh Mother. My body is growing heavy and my wings are losing their strength. I can’t keep this up much longer, but I fear I will have to. Mother, oh Mother, I ask for my return. I beg you to release me from this curse.”

“ Mother, oh Mother. I am your child, made from your own body, from your blood. I have sinned, show me mercy. My Mother, I beg of you.”

“ Mother, oh Mother. Hear my last cries, hear my despair. I beg of you to forgive me. I beg of you. I beg of you…”

As Alana grew lonelier, she grew more desperate. Her ballads to her Mother deeper and more haunting.

And from all over the sea, her enchanting voice could be heard. And no men could resist following her voice into deep and traitorous waters, chasing down that hauntingly beautiful voice. And one after the other, they were all drowned as the Ocean made sure no other man would ever seduce one of her daughters again.

And so Alana sang and sang, weeping tears and begging for her mother’s forgiveness.

But her Mother never answered her again…

What do you think about this little story? Let me know in the comments or send a message my way. I would really like to know what you think of this sort of stories and writing style. Would you like to see more of it? Or should I just stick to my usual?

Anyway, I will see you in the next post! ( Oh, and there is no day 12)


Previously: Day 10. Around the globe

About the life I was too afraid to chase`

Next up: Day 13. Love underneath my fingertips

An unconventional love story told by hands


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  3. Kim

    Wow! Frankly, very sad story, but you did warn us! I found the story to be very interesting, but what brought it to another level was listening to the song while reading the story. There was a Disney / Hans Christian Anderson feel to it when I did both. The creation of a new mythology!

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