Chapter 38. Blue

‘ Okay, spill it. What is going on with you?’ Heather burst out, no longer able to keep silent and ignore my strange behaviour.

To her credit, she had been doing really well at ignoring my weird behaviour when I rolled out of the bed like a blanket burrito and then stared at myself in the mirror for several minutes as I pulled my face in every grimace possible.

I felt different.

Was I different? Did I look different?

‘ Noffing iff goinff onf.’ I yelled back at her without removing the fingers from the corners of my mouth. I was carefully inspecting my fangs, popping them out and back in, wondering when exactly they had come out to play.

‘ You are being weird. Will you please tell me what the problem is?’ she tried again, but I waved her question away as I wondered if my tongue looked redder.

‘ I am fwine!’ I blubbered as bend closer to the mirror. Did my eyes have a different tint of purple? Was that a hint of…?

‘ You are not! What is going on?!’ Heather interrupted my thought, losing her temper as I was behaving like a little child.

When I didn’t answer, she must have realised there was really something going on. I heard the bed veer up and her footsteps as she approached me. She gently twirled me around and looked at me with a stern but tender look in her eyes. ‘ Please tell me what has gotten into you.’ she gently whispered, cupping my face reassuringly.

I let out a long, heavy sigh as I contemplated if I should tell her or not.

If I made sure it never happened again, I didn’t have to tell her this. But then again, was it fair of me to keep her around under a false pretence of safety?

After all, I had promised myself time and time again that I wouldn’t hurt her, but somehow, I always did.

But if I told her about this… She might leave…

If I didn’t tell her, I could pretend everything was fine and we were great and… Oh, who was I kidding.

If I didn’t tell her about this, my guilt would consume me and if I had to confess this down the line, it would be even worse.

I looked at Heather, the girl I wanted to spend a couple of human lifetimes with and decided that she deserved the truth. I owed it to her.

I slowly turned her towards the mirror and as I waved her hair away, I tilted her head to the side.

‘ Look… There. Can you see?’

She stretched her neck and gazed at her reflection curiously. Even when I directed her attention to it, she didn’t notice. That how small the mark was.

But it was there. Undoubtedly. I felt it. I tasted it. I tasted her.

I brought my index finger to her neck and carefully touched the little puncture mark.

‘ Here…’ I whispered, shame and disappointment colouring my voice.

‘ The hickey?’

‘ No… Right next to it… There is a little… Umm… I… Well…’

‘ Well?’

‘ Okay, please don’t freak out… But… I… Errr…. During the course of our… Ahem. Sexy time… I might have… Kinda bit you?’

‘ Excuse me? You kinda bit me?’

‘ Well not kinda. I did bite you… A little bit. Right here…’

‘ You bit me?’

‘ I bit you…’

‘ You… Bit me?’

‘ Yeah, me…’

‘ You bit me?!’

‘ Yes, I did! I bit you. I bit you! And am so sorry! I didn’t mean for it to happen! It’s just, you came and you were coming and I got all swept up and before I knew it, I was tasting you and…’

‘ Okay, stop rambling, please…’ Heather firmly said, holding up her hand to stop the freight train that was coming out of my mouth.

‘ Have you ever bitten someone before?’

I shamefully shook my head. ‘ Never.’

‘ Have you ever bitten me before? I mean, during the other times?’

I again shook my head, my eyes falling to the floor.

‘ Did you ever want to bite me before?’

‘ No… I mean… No… I don’t think so?’

She looked at me thoughtfully and scratched her cheek. ‘ What happened then? You didn’t just bite me by accident. What are you not telling me?’

And so I told her the whole story. About how I hadn’t been drinking +fluids and how I noticed my weakened state during the run. How I had become intoxicated with her scent and how I had become fascinated by her blood. And how it had distracted me when we were being intimate and how suddenly I had tasted her on my tongue.

How it had given me the biggest high and how I had passed out for a couple of seconds.

How the taste had gone from nectar to bile.

And how I detested myself for what had happened. How it worried me. How I was scared that after hearing how our history was made, I was turning into someone I was not.

How I went from being certain I could protect her to being scared for her safety. How I feared that I would be her downfall and how I didn’t know how to protect her from myself.

How I was sorry for what had happened and that I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself.

How I wish I could take it back or fix it or change it, but that I couldn’t.

And how awful I felt that part of me was craving again. That I was still hungry. And that I wasn’t sure what to feed myself.

As I kept rambling on and on, she shut me up by a kiss. A soft, innocent kiss that sent shivers all the way down my spine and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

‘ I understand.’

I rubbed my ears in confusion. Did I hear her right? Did she just say that she understood?

‘ You do? Why?’

Heather shrugged as she inspected her neck again. ‘ I always knew you were a vampire. And I knew what that meant, even if you didn’t. When I met you, I thought I was mistaken and that you all had evolved far beyond your savage ancestors, but I noticed some little things.’

‘ Little things? What do you mean?’

‘ Well, do you remember in the beginning when you did all those tests?’

I slowly nodded my head, wondering where she was going with this. ’ Yeaahhh…?’

She awkwardly scratched the back of her head and then showed her open arm to me. ‘ Remember when you gave me some kind of medicine. I bled a little. And you seemed really fascinated by it. I wasn’t sure back then if it was imagining it or if it was something, so I didn’t really pay attention… But…’

‘ But?’

‘ Okay, this might sound a little bit creepy… Well, a lot creepy… But every time I got my period, you were suddenly much more mellow and easier to appease. It wasn’t that you became a different person, but I noticed you were much more… Let’s say attentive.’

I felt my mouth fall open and so I stared at her for a good couple of seconds before I managed to shut my trap. ‘ And that didn’t creep you out?’

‘ It did. A little bit. But nothing ever really happened. So I figured it might have been just a dormant thing. You know, a reflex or something. It never scared me or made me feel insecure, I just figured it was a natural but harmless reaction.’

‘ Damn it!’ I yelled angrily at myself, hiding my head in my hands. How did I not notice these things? How did I not feel different? How did I not realise it had something to do with her or her blood?

Heather noticed!

‘ Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t know about your history. You couldn’t have guessed.’

I shook my head in disappointment. ‘ I am a scientist. I should have noticed something was up.’

She softly kissed me on my temple as she cooed sweet words in my ear. ‘ It’s gonna be okay. Now that we know, we will just be more careful, okay?’

Why was she being so nice and understanding?

‘ You don’t hate me for it?’ I quietly asked, scared of her answer like a little child that just did something bad.

‘ I don’t hate you… You might not have considered all this… But I did… This… You. It was always part of the deal.’

‘ This… Me?’

‘ The vampire in you.’

‘ What does that mean?’ I asked in confusion, wondering what exactly she saw as vampiric.

‘ Well… In the beginning, I noticed some things about you… Your purple eyes that flickered when you were angry at me, your fangs that popped out whenever you felt threatened and the growling when you were displeased or very pleased. After a while, there wasn’t so much eye flickering or fang popping anymore. I think you stopped being so angry at me. But once in a while, you were sitting on the couch or laying in bed and you were growling in happiness.’

‘ I was?’

She snickered lightly as she kissed me. ‘ Yes. I thought it was cute. You looked like a purring kitty.’

I gasped. ‘ Oooh, you take that back!’

Again she chuckled and as her laughter brightened up the room, she stole another kiss from my lips and pulled me out of the bathroom, away from my worries.

She pushed me down in the couch and let herself fall on me in a warm embrace. Her lips found mine and after an endearingly reassuring kiss, she cupped my cheeks and her blue eyes found mine.

‘ I don’t care that you bit me. I don’t. To be honest, you were always drawn to my neck, am surprised you haven’t bitten me before. But I am worried about why though… I am worried something might be wrong.’

I rubbed my neck and let out a long sigh. She was probably right, but I didn’t want to turn this into a big deal. I was hoping this was just something that would go away, but could I afford to wait and do nothing about it?

‘ It might just be something small… Maybe after a couple of days, the +fluids will take away this feeling.’ I argued, but even I heard how bleak my voice sounded.

She frowned her eyebrows at me and a thoughtful look appeared on her beautiful face. ‘ Maybe…’ she said, but I could just hear the doubts.

‘ You don’t seem convinced.’

She gave me a long and intense look and I could see her pondering over something. She seemed conflicted, but I couldn’t figure out about what.

Why would she be conflicted? Had I done something else? What was going on?

Was it something I said? She looked just as conflicted like I had ten minutes ago. What would she have on her plate?

‘ Do you need to tell me something…?’ I carefully asked, trying not to accuse her of something, but I could just see the worry in her eyes.

Heather ran her fingers through her blonde hairs and after another second of indecision, she gave me a pained look. ‘ You look different.’

I tilted my head to the side as I furrowed my brows. ’ I do? In what way?’

‘ Yes… At least, I think you do…Your right eye… It looks… Almost blue?’

I let out a sigh of relief. Thank gods it wasn’t something I had done wrong. Relief washed over me, but as quickly as it came, it disappeared as her words hit me.

Oh no. If she thought my eye looked different, it wasn’t in my imagination. It hadn’t been my reflection or the light. This wasn’t good.

‘ You really think so?’ I asked, widening my eyes as open as I could so she could look again, still hoping she and I were both mistaken.

‘ Yeah, I didn’t see it at first, but it is almost if there are blue flecks in there.’ she admitted quietly, like she thought she would upset me or something.

‘ Damn it. I thought there was, but I just figured it was the lighting or my imagination or something.’ I cursed, as I angrily slapped my head a couple of times. Stupid body. Why did it have to betray me like this?

‘ I don’t think it is your imagination… Maybe there is something going on with you? Not having your fluids, spending time below ground, being around humans, …’

I slowly nodded and admitted she was probably right. What a nightmare. I finally thought I had things under control and that everything was going well and now this?


‘ Maybe you should go see a doctor or something? We might be wrong, maybe it has nothing to do with me.’

I pinched my nose and inhaled sharply. ‘ I doubt it… I don’t want to go to a doctor and compromise your safety or expose your world.’

‘ So what will you do? Ask your father?’

I sadly shook my head. ‘ I can’t… He took the blame for… your “escape” and ever since, the council has had him and his work under supervision. I haven’t seen him in a while.’

‘ Oh…’ Heather looked at me with big, sad puppy eyes and I could just hear the guilt talking to her.

‘ Hey, it is not your fault. I did what I thought was best to protect you and my father did what he did to protect me. We are just looking out for each other. Besides, this is not the first time he has been under supervision.’

She slowly nodded her head, but I could tell by her eyes that she wasn’t completely convinced of her innocence in this part.

‘ Anyway. I have a… Friend… She is a top class doctor, a brilliant scientist and very discrete. I really didn’t want to see her again this century, but I think it is time I pay her a visit… See what is going on here.’

‘ Uh-uh…’ Heather slowly hummed, her eyes boring into me. ‘ A friend.’ she repeated me, making quotation marks in the air as she dared me to lie.

‘ Okay, fine. Not just a friend… She and I… We… Kinda sorta you know.’

‘ Kinda sorta?’

‘ Yeah… I wish I could give you a better definition of our relationship, but that is sadly the best I can do.’

‘ Aha… Are you still kinda sorta…?’

‘ NO!’ I exclaimed loudly, surprising both Heather and myself. That sounded really defensive. Damn. I just didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.

‘ I meant no… Look, we had this almost something going on for a long time but after a while, I just couldn’t do it anymore. It had become too much of a mess and both our feelings had gotten lost in a maze. I didn’t feel like untangling our mess and figure out if there was something, so I broke things off with her. I had done that many times before and so had she, but this time I really meant it. I just didn’t know if she knew I was for real.’

‘ Go on?’

‘ Well… I didn’t see her for a very long time… And then I met you. And so, a long time became an even longer time… And well… Now it has been almost ten years since our last… Kinda. And I don’t know if she will assume I want another sorta with her if I go see her.’

‘ Do you want another… Kinda sorta…?’ Heather carefully asked, hoping she wouldn’t offend me with that question and hoping that my answer wouldn’t backfire in her face.

I decisively shook my head. ‘ No. She and I were over a long time ago. I just don’t know how things will be between us.’

Heather slowly nodded her head, taking in this new information.

What a day for her.

‘ You should go see her. If she can help, I want you to get in touch with her… Wait. Let me rephrase that. If she can help, I want you to call her.’ she grinned as she kissed me on my cheek before getting up to find the bathroom.

I stared at her and as I was again overwhelmed with all the trust she had in me, I felt my fangs pop out as my vision blurred everything but her.

This was not good. I really needed to make that phone call because whether I wanted to admit it or not, something was going on with me.

And I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one bit.

Previously: Chapter 37. Ecstasy


Next up: Chapter 29. Johanna



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