The LGBT+ alphabet soup

This week it was the national Pride in my country. Unfortunately, due to my broken leg, I couldn’t go. But I thought it was the perfect time to address some things about the LGBT+ life and show my support this way.

1. What is up with the LGBT+ alphabet soup?

How many letters are we gonna add to LGB until we just completely drop the term? So far we are up to LGBTQA+. I mean, it started out as LGB for Lesbian, Gay, and Bi and this was a really big deal. Then we added a T for the trans community, which was a step in the right direction. After the T there came the Q for queer and the A for asexuals.

So when are we adding a P for the pansexuals? Maybe a D for the demisexuals? And of course, why not an H for our heterosexual friends? I mean, why can’t they get a spot in our letter word?

You see what I am getting at? We were going in the right direction, but we somehow forgot what our real goal was.

How many letters are we gonna add until it just becomes ridiculous? Who has the time, really?

Hi, I support LGBTQAPDH+ rights!

When is this alphabet soup gonna end and can we just call it what it is? Human rights?

2. Coming out is ridiculous.

I have never, ever, heard someone sit their parents or friends down to tell them they are straight. And I understand that we live in a heteronormative world, but we are enabling the labeling by using them ourselves.

When we treat a part of ourselves as abnormal, we can’t really expect others that aren’t in our shoes, to see it is normal.

Today we still live in a world where coming out is sometimes inevitable, but if we keep that in mind, we can change our own attitudes to make it easier for other people that still are afraid to express their sexual preference. We can do that by just talking about the person we are in love with — without specifying gender or our preference for that gender.

And I know that some people think we should make a big deal about letting the people around us know that they can love whoever they want. I certainly agree that stating this won’t hurt anyone, but I think it is even better to not make it into a big deal.

Although Prides and coming out parties are great, in a perfect world there would be no such thing because it is not to be celebrated. There is no need.

I mean, there is no straight pride, like many people always argue. And that is simply because it isn’t needed. Every day is straight pride.

But in a world where your sexual preference doesn’t matter anymore, words like gay, lesbian, queer, straight, pansexual, … all become equal. Like colours. I mean, of course, some people like blue better than red and others are crazy about pink or green. But I have never known anyone who discriminated, killed or disowned someone because they liked a different colour. And I am not talking about the colour of someone’s skin, because frankly, I think racism should also disappear. Things like sexism, racism, and homophobia are just so irrelevant.

We are all human. Why should we concern ourselves with the things people can’t change? Shouldn’t we focus on the things someone can change? Aren’t there more important things to know about someone?

Like if they are a reliable friend or a loving partner? What about if they treat their parents with respect and raise their children right? If they care about this planet or feel responsible for their actions? If they are thinkers or feelers?

I much rather look at someone and wonder about these things

Again, who has the time to worry about someone else’s sexuality or gender? I think the only time it matters, is when you are attracted to someone and hope they like you too.

3. Why I stopped saying I am proud of being gay.

( Yes, I am using gay instead of bi, because I like the umbrella term better and well, I really am not that into labels.)

I am not proud that I have two eyes. Or I am not proud that I can breathe. I am not proud that I like food. I am not proud of my heritage.

Because none of that is in my control. It is just something given to me.

I am happy with my heritage. I am happy that I love food. And I am happy that I am bi.

Everybody is allowed to be happy with what they are given.

That doesn’t mean I don’t support the Gay Pride or don’t encourage LGBT+ groups. I am part of a LGBT student club, support our local and national LGBT group and I love our Gay Pride.

I am proud because I dare be myself in a heteronormative world.

I am proud because I stand up for minorities.

I am proud because I advocate for those who can’t.

I am proud because I vote for tolerance and acceptance.

Who you are or what you have inherited is nothing to be proud of. It is something you should be happy with.

Being happy and being proud isn’t the same thing. And the difference is important. Because this way, when there is a Parade, it isn’t about sexuality. It isn’t about who you love or what you like.

It will be about courage. It will be about people that are willing to stand up for what they believe in.

And then anyone can join. Because after all… Isn’t that the true goal of it all? To unify everyone?

So next time you join a parade or an LGBT+ event, say that you are happy to be ….. ( insert sexual preference) and that you are proud that you want to make a change for minorities. Say that you are proud that you have found the will and strength to be you, even if it isn’t always accepted.

Or even better, don’t mention your sexual preference at all, because it is nobody’s business after all. While I don’t think those labels need to disappear, I think it would be very beneficial that they stop being a part of somebody’s identity and just become a like or dislike. Because that is all it is.

Only when words like gay marriage and lesbian love disappear, we will truly have reached our goal. It is just marriage and it is just love. Nothing more, nothing less.

Be happy with what you were given and be proud of what you have done with it.

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