Unfortunately wanting Alex; a short story

I groaned when I felt a big splash of cold beer clash against my chest. Damn it.

‘ Watch it!’ I half-yelled, trying not to anger one of the drunk idiots stumbling through the flat of my neighbour.

My previously white shirt was now completely see-through, revealing my light blue laced bra. Good thing I was actually wearing one today…

Why was I even here?

But before I lost my temper, I saw her. What was she doing here?


Alex was one of my work colleagues.

And she was easily one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen in my life. She was gorgeous, stunning, breathtaking.

And also a complete bitch.

That’s why I did most of my staring from a distance so her beauty was left unspoilt by all the mean things that spewed out of her mouth. Still, that didn’t take away that I would love to have her in my bed someday.

And now she was here.

Stumbling through my neighbour’s flat, obviously drunk. No. Not just drunk. She was thrashed.

And coming my way.

I internally groaned. I was already in a bad mood and I didn’t wanna deal with her telling me how my face looked puffy or that my shoes didn’t fit the rest of my outfit or if that pimple on my nose was a permanent feature…

‘ Jesssssss! Heeeyyyyyy girrrrllll!!’ she loudly slurred while she tripped over her own feet as she tried to hold herself up by wrapping her arm around my shoulder. Immediately my nose was engulfed by a strong whiff of alcohol and her intoxicating perfume. I involuntary inhaled again, liking how she smelled. I had to admit I also liked how hard she was pressing herself into me and how it sent tingles down my back.

‘ Hey, ahem, Alex.’ I muttered, not succeeding in forming a better sentence.

‘ This party is aaawesooommmeeee!’ she yelled, unfortunately close to my auditive system, making me flinch. I turned my head away, forcing myself not to eyefuck her.

‘ Ehh… I’m glad that you are enjoying yourself…’ I mumbled, staring at a lamp that probably got knocked over by one of the many drunk partygoers.

‘ And you, you are looking fine. Damn.’ she suddenly whispered in my ear, sending chills all the way down from my ear to the tips of my toes.

‘ I, ehmm, what?’ I stuttered, not believing what I just heard. Did she just call me fine? Did she just compliment me?

‘ You are cute, you know that?’ she purred, her free hand locked firmly on my hip.

I swallowed hard and blinked rapidly. What was happening?

‘ I would love to…’ Alex murmured softly, before pressing her head my hair and bringing her lips so close that I could feel her warm breath clash on my skin. ‘ Push you down on a bed and have my way with you.’

I sucked in my bottom lip and bit down hard to keep myself from ripping off her shirt and throwing her against a wall to have my way with her.

‘ You live next door, don’t you? Why don’t you show me your flat?’ she seductively whispered while exposing my neck. Without awaiting my answer, she softly started kissing my shoulder and made her way up to the soft spot right under my ear.

‘ I want to feel your skin on mine. Now.’ she moaned, the urgency clearly audible in her voice.

I looked at her, contemplating what I should do. On one hand she was completely wasted, probably way beyond her capability of making rational decisions. I had also had a couple of drinks but I was not nearly as drunk as her. That being said, the alcohol had lowered my rational thoughts and I had always wanted to hook up with her, but never even thought I had a chance.

On the other hand, she was always bitchy and mean and this was gonna make things pretty awkward at work…

‘ If you don’t stop me, I’m gonna kiss you right now.’ she gently whispered while cupping my face and pulling it towards hers.

‘ I…’

That’s when she efficiently shut me up by pressing her plump lips on mine, a desperate moan immediately escaping my mouth.

‘ That’s what I thought.’ she murmured, her arms wrapped firmly around my neck, her fingers tangled in my hair.

I pulled out of the kiss. ‘ My flat. Now.’ I growled, completely forgotten about why I shouldn’t hook up with her.

‘ Morning.’ I muttered when I came into work. I was met by indistinct morning greetings like every morning. We worked together with a lot of people and not many of them were morning people. Neither was I, to be honest. Definitely not when I was kind of hungover. Or a lot hungover.

I grabbed a mug, turned towards the coffee machine and poured what was left in the jug

‘ Make your own. I just made a fresh pot.’ someone suddenly snapped.

I turned around, not believing my ears. I knew that voice all too well. In fact, that voice had been whispering dirty things in my ear all night.

‘ Alex. Morning.’ I greeted her dryly, not liking what was happening.

‘ Don’t morning me. I made this coffee so give me your mug. There are more beans in the cupboard, make your own.’ she snippily said while she grabbed my mug and tried to pull it out of my hands.

‘ The coffee is communal…’ I started but was rudely interrupted.

‘ Give. Me. Your. Mug.’ she commanded, pulling so hard I was afraid that coffee was gonna spill out.

‘ Fine.’ I grumbled, not wanting to start a fight so early in the morning while I could still feel the scratches her nails left, burn in my back. I released the mug and she just walked away, not even thanking me.

As usual, I felt the anger boil up, partially because she was rude, but that was her usual going. What made me boil this time, was that she had acted as bitchy as ever and had turned her back towards me, while not even 4 hours ago she had been laying in my bed, my fingers buried deep in between her wet folds while she moaned my name in ecstasy.

I know that I shouldn’t have expected her to behave any different, but somehow I thought that hooking up with me would have made her a little bit more tolerable. Boy, was I wrong. She was as obnoxious as ever.

Things didn’t change.

It had been a week since I slept with Alex and every opportunity that she could be mean, she was. She had ‘accidentally’ spilt coffee over one of my important files, had stepped on my jacket, had bumped into me (more than once), … The list went on and on.

Normally I would just let it slide, but it angered me so much more because deep down, I only wanted one thing.

And that was to sleep with her again.

But seeing how things went, that wasn’t gonna change any time soon.

Boy, was I wrong, again…

Another week later, one of my colleagues wanted to celebrate his birthday and somehow managed to convince my boss to turn it into an office party.

A couple of hours into the party, Alex bumped into me again.

‘ Watch it!’ I muttered, still angry at her from the past weeks.

‘ M’sorry.’ she slurred, obviously tipsy. ‘ You smell delicious. Damn. I could eat you up. I wanna eat you. I wanna make your body rock in ecstasy. I wanna make you scream my name. Bathroom. Now.’ she ordered, her hands resting on my hips.

‘ What? No!’ I protested, trying to convince both her and myself that this wasn’t a good idea.

‘ Bathroom. Now.’ she commanded again, her voice deep and husky. Her thumbs laced through my belt loops and her other fingers crept under the hem of my shirt.

I wordlessly shook my head. Why was I fighting this?

Because she is a giant bitch when she’s sober.

‘ I’m horny for you.’ she growled, making me shiver in lust under her. I looked up into her eyes and saw the lust clearly clouding hers.

I nodded breathlessly. ‘ Okay. Bathroom.’

‘ Good.’ she smiled as she removed her body from mine and strode towards the bathroom, confident I would follow. I counted to ten and that is exactly what I did.

I had only barely entered the bathroom as I got plastered against the door. Alex’s lips were roaming the soft skin in my nape and her hands were firmly pushing me against the rough wall. Somewhere, vaguely, I registered the sound of the lock.

‘ I want you.’ she panted in my ear.

‘ I want you too.’ I softly admitted.

The next morning I woke up with a throbbing headache. After Alex and I entertained each other thoroughly in the bathroom, we went back to the party and drank as much liquor as our bodies could possibly hold. Then we threw up and drank even more. Why? No idea.

I grabbed my sunglasses and forced myself to go to work. I already knew it was gonna be a slow day since the whole office had been partying it up last night. I already knew everyone was gonna be at as hungover as I and I already knew that Alex was gonna treat me like crap, again.

From these three, the last one was like punch in my stomach. Why did I sleep with her again? Sure, she was extremely hot and she was a incredible lay, but she was the biggest bitch I knew.

I was right. Alex had, like everyone, a hangover and broke her own record of bitchiness.

She was horrible and still, I liked her.

I liked her. I liked how there was always a smile playing on her lips, how there was a twinkle in her eyes, how she moved around all catlike, how her fingers rapidly typed essays with ease, how she pinched her nose when she thought real hard or how she bit her bottom lip when she was frustrated.

I liked her.

I had every reason not to, but I did.

And I tried not to hook up with her again, but I failed miserably. Every time when she was drunk, she somehow found me and we always ended up doing the dance with no pants. The amount of hook-ups we had increased significantly when she started coming to my flat drunk as a canon. It was simple and it was always the same.

She went out to a club, drank the bar dry, took a cab to my flat, fucked me senseless, took a cab home and acted like the bitch she was at work.

And still, I liked her.

Most of the times, she was the only one who had drinks. In the beginning I felt like I was taking advantage, but when she kept bitching at me the moment she got sober, I stopped caring and just threw her in my bed when I had the chance and had my merry way with her.

But I wanted more. I wanted to kiss her when during the day, I wanted to get to know her, I wanted to share laughs with her, I wanted to be with her.

I hated that she could only be with me when she was drunk. I hated that she could only kiss me when she was drunk. I hated that she could only stand me when she was drunk.

I wanted her to be with me when she wasn’t drunk.

I wanted more.

So, one day at work I mustered up all my courage and finally asked what I had been avoiding asking.

‘ Alex?’

‘ Hmm. What? Can’t you see I’m busy?’

‘ I… Ehm…’

Don’t back out.

I took a deep breath. ‘ What are we?’

‘ Sorry?’

‘ We, us, what are we?’

‘ There is no “we”.’ she grinned menacingly.

‘ So, why do you keep coming to my flat to sleep with me?’

‘ I’m always drunk. When I’m drunk I do stupid things and make mistakes. You are my drunken mistake.’ she huffed, her eyes glued to her computer screen, not even looking at me once.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Fuck.

‘ Oh. Okay. Sorry that I wasted your time.’ I said, my voice cold and distant. I barely recognised my own voice. I barely even heard myself.

Drunken mistake.

Alex was always mean and bitchy and rude, but she had never called me her drunken mistake before.

That’s enough. This woman is toxic. Please stop sleeping with her.

I nodded in agreement with my inner voice and promised myself not to sleep with Alex again.

I didn’t know this promise would get challenged that very same night.

‘ I need you, I want to feel you, I want to kiss and lick you.’ Alex groaned. She was holding herself up at my door frame and tried to grab my face.

I managed to push her away from me and resist her soft skin under the palms of my hand.

‘ No. I’m not gonna be your drunken mistake again.’ I firmly said although I could feel my voice tremble with emotion. Her words had really struck a cord. Actually, she had hit me bullseye in one of my biggest insecurities.

‘ Come on, I wanna fuck you. I wanna please you. Jessy, come here. You know you like it.’ she purred, her eyes clouded with what I can only describe as pure lust, but somehow I managed to resist her.

The next day at work, I was afraid that I was gonna get it. You can’t just reject a woman like Alex and get away scot-free.

To my utter surprise, Alex just plain ignored me. It was extremely weird. No snide remarks, no bitchy responses, no angry glares.

But it was for the best. At least, that is what I told myself. Instead of passionate nights and hateful days, I would just have lonely nights and silent days.

I thought that was it.

But that night, she was ringing my door bell once more.

‘ Jessy, darling, I need you. I am craving you and your taste.’ she desperately moaned, her lips and hands caressing my cheek.

‘ No. I don’t want to be your drunken mistake.’ I repeated myself once again as I balled my hands in frustration. Saying no when everything about you screams yes is mighty difficult.

‘ Why not? Be mine tonight.’ she moaned.

I shivered.

‘ No. Please, go home.’ I said, gently pushing her out my flat and closing the door, hoping she would find her way home and not end up in the gutter or someone else’s bed.

My night was lonely, but I didn’t think my day was gonna be silent. Alex was probably gonna be furious since I rejected her twice over. I had already prepared myself for hurricane Alex, but nothing was more true. Alex was quiet, oh so quiet. I caught her looking at me, more than once, which was again strange and out of character. Alex never ‘just looked’ at me, she would only glare.

Alex was quiet, oh so quiet. I caught her looking at me, more than once, which was again strange and out of character. Alex never ‘just looked’ at me, she would only glare.

And things kept going like this. Every night, Alex would show up at my doorstep, her breath smelling like alcohol.

Every night I would battle with myself so I wouldn’t throw her on my bed.

Every day at work, Alex would look at me. Just that. Look. And for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what was going through her head. She had one hell of a pokerface.

Every day I would realise how much I wanted her. How I missed the feel of her skin on mine, how I missed her scent, how I missed her voice moaning my name, how I missed her taste.

Every day I would look at her, longing, wanting.

Every day I wanted to hold her, kiss her, taste her, feel her, hear her, have her.

Every day I wished how she would like me the way I liked her.

Every night I would go home alone, my heart aching with her absence and my head filled with the same question. How did I end up liking her so bad?

Every night I would tell myself that there were other fish in the sea.

Every night I would yearn for her.

But this night was different.

‘ Jessy, love, spend the night with me.’ Alex asked, almost begged. Her voice was soft and her words weren’t slurred. She didn’t look as drunk as usual and her eyes were surprisingly clear.

But what most set me off, was her use of words. Love.

She never called me that.

I shook my head. ‘ I can’t.’ I muttered, almost giving in to her pleading. Almost giving in to myself. She was just so damn cute and irresistible.

‘ Please. I wanna feel you against me. I wanna hold you. I need to hold you.’ she murmured, her sentence barely audible.

‘ I really can’t.’

In the past weeks, I had managed to convince myself that I didn’t deserve someone who didn’t appreciate me and that I was worth more than being someone’s drunken mistake. I wasn’t gonna stoop to that level again.

‘ Please?’ she asked, her head cocked cutely to the side.

I started shaking my head again but was unexpectedly tenderly pushed against the wall. With one swift motion, she captured my lips with hers and stole a quick kiss from my lips.

She pulled back and looked me deep into my eyes. She didn’t say anything and neither did I.

For a moment, we just looked into each other’s eyes. And somehow, she had an oddly lost look in hers and I couldn’t help but wonder why I hadn’t noticed that before.

I placed my hands on her waist so I could push her away, but my body had a mind of its own. My fingers recognised her warm skin and my body reacted automatically. Instead of pushing her away, my arms sneaked around her waist and I pulled her into me, embracing everything that was Alex.

She sighed and buried her head in the crook of my neck. Soft kisses were planted down and her teeth gently grazed over my skin. Without neither of us cognitively realising, she left a visible mark on the soft skin in my neck.

‘ You’re mine.’ she growled in my ear.

I closed my eyes in disappointment. I wasn’t hers. I wish I was. But I wasn’t.

‘ I’m not yours and you are not mine. And I need you to leave. You have been drinking.’ I sadly murmured, somehow succeeding in pushing her body away.

‘ I know. And yes, you are mine.’ she whispered as she threw me one more longing look, before voluntarily leaving my flat, leaving me flabbergasted.

I expected the next morning to be like all the previous ones, but today something new happened.

‘ Hey, you have a lovebite!’ one of my friends at work suddenly remarked, pointing at my neck.

‘ No, I haven’t.’ I denied, like that would make the mark disappear. My cheeks turning crimson as I silently cursed at Alex.

‘ Yes, you have.’

‘ No, I haven’t.’

‘ I can see it.’

‘ No, you can’t.’

My colleague smiled. ‘ So, who give you the hickey?’

Before I could answer and make up a lie, I was surprised like never before.

‘ It’s mine.’

I looked up, startled. What?

I wasn’t the only one, though. My colleague looked at Alex in pure and utter confusion.

‘ I marked her. She’s mine.’ Alex fiercely declared, her eyes finding mine. Her voice was loud and confident. But then she turned to me and added a much quieter. ‘ Right…?’

I looked at her, wondering what had brought on this change. I found turmoil and doubt in her eyes. There it was again, that lost look. But there was also honesty and hope.

Somehow, her pokerface had disappeared and I could see more and more in her eyes.

I heard her harsh words echo in my head, but the pounding of my heart vibrated through my whole body, screaming at me to give this a chance.

So I nodded, trying to contain the smile from bursting out on my face. It was no use though and together with the butterflies in my stomach, a genuine smile appeared.

‘ She’s mine.’ Alex repeated again, visually relaxing as an audible sigh escaped from her mouth. I looked at her again and the turmoil and stress had left and a content and satisfied look had made their way into her eyes.

Boy, she had beautiful eyes.

I grinned at her and I didn’t stop until Alex pressed her lips against mine.


‘ I’m sorry.’ she whimpered, red blushes of shame welling up on her cheeks.

‘ You are forgiven if…’

‘ If what?’

‘ If you make it up to me.’ I smirked, only teasing her. Together with giving her a chance, I had forgiven her.

‘ Oh, I’ll make it up to you.’ she breathed, her lips finding her way back to my neck as she tenderly kissed the lovebite that marked me as hers and hers alone.


Liked this story? Why not check out how things were from Alex’s point of view?

After all, every love story has two sides!

Read Alex’s story.

Have you read my book the Love Pill yet?

” What if you had a tiny pill that could change attraction into love?”

Straight as an arrow, Cara, is sent on a mission to seduce and deceive the beautiful Lexi, a longtime lesbian, who just lost her father, the only family she had left.

Cara has to learn the ways to please a woman. Lexi has to come to grips with the fact that she might have finally found love. As their story unfolds, the two women dance around each other. A beautiful story, no?

It would have been, if the love pill hadn’t been involved.

Find out more


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